Been awhile...

...Since Ive blogged or talked to anyone really other than family. These past couple months have been extremely rough and most days I question how I'm going to make it to the next. And of course it all started on my birthday. That's the last time I heard my dad's voice, well that's the last time I heard him and he sounded ok, healthy even. No wait, that was the day before my birthday, like he knew he wouldn't get the chance and called me a day early to sing happy birthday to me. On my birthday he went to the hospital for the last time. He spent most of that week in ICU, his potassium levels and a whole bunch of other levels I can't remember, were all way off. The next week the moved him off of ICU which "they don't do unless he's getting better". Yea, he didn't get better. He got worse. He went home on hospice on Thursday, August 30. I spent that night with him, slept in his bed with him, next to his frail body and listened to his raspy breathing all night. The next morning he was up and about all morning, with assistance of course. And I of course was the only one strong enough to care or him, and the only one with any medical experience to know what I was doing. So I helped him shower, go to the bathroom, all that good stuff. And continued to do so for the next 3 days. Fortunately I have an amazing husband to take care of my kids so that I could do this. Sunday dad seemed ok, he was up ALL day and I missed my kids so I made the decision to go home. And my dad...I could tell he didn't want me to. I could tell he just needed me to be there but he knew I had to go home. The last thing he said to me was "make sure you come back." and of course I was coming back. My intention was to come back that Tuesday. Unfortunately, even though I did come back, he wasn't there.
Mom had called me Monday at 5ish to tell me they'd be reading him his last rites at 7. There was just no way I could make it. I couldnt leave dinner on the stove, I needed to feel like a mom for the day, once again I decided to put my family before my dad. I know that's what he'd have wanted but I still beat myself up over it a lot. A whole lot....Anyhow that night mom called me so I could talk to him. He'd been sleeping all day so she just held the phone to his ear, and I cried, and I begged him to wait till I got back, begged him to still be there so I could see him one last time. The only sound on the other end was his labored breathing, the pain in his breath will resound in my ears for years to come. I know he was listening, I know he tried, but at 3:11am my phone rang; my mom crying saying "he's gone". It was the worst thing Id ever heard. I never thought my heart could hurt so much. I never thought I'd love my dad so much.
The funeral was that Friday in a small cemetery in the middle of no where. He has a nice little spot near a creek and he'll certainly be left alone like he wanted to be. We'll go see him soon, sometime around Thanksgiving, and I'll cry, and my kids will see me hurt, and I hate that but I want them to be there with me. If it werent for them, and my husband I would never have made it through this. My dad was one of my best friends. Losing him was losing my confidant, the person I could call when everyone in the world had pissed me off and he'd listen, and he always had a solution or something funny to say to make it better. Now all I have is a voicemail, a happy, healthy sounding voicemail from the 10th of August hoping I was having fun in Vegas. If I'm having a rough day and the world seems to be crashing down on all sides of me, I call my voicemail. Maybe that's silly and childish, but I need to be able to hear him.
It's been awhile since I've been ok and able to spend some time on my thoughts. I'm finally ready to start talking about it with more people and not just my mom or husband. I may need to post more in the next week or so about this, just to get it off my chest so bare with me.

National Lampoons got it wrong

Thursday we flew out of Grand Island and flew to Vegas for a few days with a wonderful group of friends. We pretty much expected it to be an expensive trip and never intended to gamble too much, which I stayed under $20, Josh was about $50, not bad at all. Anyhow, when you picture Vegas you can only picture it the way you see it on tv, I usually picture the way National Lampoons showed it, it is so not that way. First of all, you don't have camera crews to clear the crowds of people out of your way so you have to shuffle through all the weirdos, the smellies, the overly dressed, and the kids...yes the kids!! Who brings their toddlers to Vegas?! Second, there was maybe 2 cars even worth gambling for. I mean a car is a car I know, but even the cars I consider worthy of my money were Mustangs, no Corvettes or drop tops of any sort. Then there's the drinks, umm I gambled and NEVER got a drink!! Never!! I paid for each an every $6 beer until the last night when the bar was serving $3 drinks, I can handle that. Fortunately they have these nifty joints throughout the city in which you can refill your cup with delicious icy alcoholic drinks,$9 for 32oz, again not bad! Although I recommend a mug or cup, not one of those long skinny drinks with a straw. A)there's no lid, b)its kind of a hassle to walk around with, and c) it's not likely you'll bring it home. I like souvenirs so I spent the few extra dollars to have a neat little car mug I could take home.

                                             

 

Ok let's talk location. We stayed at the Stratosphere. I was pretty impressed. Plenty to do, lots of shops and dinning, and plenty of gambling as well. Plus the rooms were nice. We were on a non-smoking floor but I'm pretty sure there was someone smoking near us as I could smell it every now and again. Now if you have no other plans, stay there, however if you want to walk the strip...dont!! Sure there's the tram but you have to walk a mile to get there, not bad if you go in the morning, but once you've walked the strip all day you'll dread walking back to the hotel. However hanging out in the salt water pool the next day totally makes up for it, there's a bar, cute little waitresses passing out sample shots, floaties, volleyball net in the water, cabanas, and more. Oh and sun, there's plenty of sun, I got quite red the 2 hours I was outside Saturday afternoon. I'd definitely stay again if I didn't intend to go anywhere else.

                                                                   

 

All in all, I think we had a pretty good time. It was nice to get away from the kids for awhile and do adult things, drink all day, and not have to change ANY diapers. Josh did piss me off one morning over breakfast but I was over it after swimming for a little while. But if you want to have a lot of fun make sure you bring a lot of money. My biggest regret was not saving enough to see shows or go gambling. And take friends that like to have the same kind of fun you do. We had a pretty great bunch with us this trip and I'd totally go again with them. So thanks Johnson and Gowin's families for being an amazing bunch!! 

End of the Season!!

Love Scentsy, I don't know if I'll ever not love Scentsy, and REALLY love Scentsy when everything goes on sale for a month!! This month, 10% off everything (with a few exclusions). Plus this months warmer and scent of the month are amazing, also both 10% off!! https://mamasully.scentsy.us/Scentsy/Home

Continue your pink pepper journey with
Neverland. Sunny geranium, glowing pink
pepper, and toasty cedar in a deliciously
outdoorsy fragrance.

Whoot!

Also here's the discontinued list for the month! Items may or may not return next spring.

Grocery shopping plan!!

I'm so sick of going to the grocery store, absolutely sick of it. Every week we go multiple times, usually i forget something or I just don't take the time to figure out what I need before going so right now I'm making a huge list, huge!! of things we don't have, are almost out of, meals to eat, things that I can reuse and for what meals (flour, sugar, etc), how many of each I need for the month, and what I have in coupons so I can save a little money. I just printed off $22 in savings, that's not a whole lot when it comes to a family of 4 but we need to start somewhere! I don't have time to sift through sale ads and see who has what for the cheapest (if anyone wants to do it for me, please, be my guest). I also don't want to go to 5 different stores so I have my one stop shop, Wally World, down the street. It has better prices than most place I go to, although Baker's does have a shoppers card I get confused in that store and they don't carry everything I want/need. Anyhow, here's the sources I've been using for coupons...actually, here's my pin from pinterest of sources that I use for coupons :) http://www.crystalandcomp.com/coupon-resources/ lots and lots and lots of places to go.LOTS!!!

Heat advisory skillet chili

Maybe I'm a little nuts for craving chili in the summer but I did, and actually do quite often. I get tired of "summer meals" pretty quickly. Tonight after forgetting for 2 days to start the crockpot I gave up and just made some in the skillet. It's simple, and still a one dish meal so I'm ok with that.
What ya need:
5qt skillet
1lb hamburger
1 big can of chili beans
1cup (or more of you want more spice and veggies I limit it for the kids)
1 tsp chili powder
1tsp crushed garlic flakes

Brown your burger, drain if you need to. I use the 93/7 burger so I leave the grease because I'm lazy ;). Add your chili beans and salsa, stir then add your spices and stir again (duh right?!). Cover and simmer for about 20-25minutes. Serve with shredded cheddar cheese and crackers.

Mmm lunch!

Seriously dieting here...well I was then 4th of July hit and beer, good food, aunt flow...I gained a pound. I know it's only 1single pound but it takes a lot for me to lose it. Anyhow back on the bandwagon now. Healthy food, healthy food, healthy food...oooh look cheese balls...healthy food!!!
Today's lunch? Frozen Fajita chicken strips (Market Pantry, cheap and amazingly good) seared in a pan with olive oil, 1/4 cup feta cheese, and 1/2 cup of black grapes on the side! Yum!! This is actually pretty typical of me lately, it's cheap and easy for me. I hate having to think about what I'm going to make and this is pretty good. I switch the fruit out every couple days so I don't get bored.

100 fan Auction

Its been a long first half of the year, started out strong with sales and slowly dwindling. So to keep my fans interested, and of course to get a few new fans I'm going to be doing an auction. The lowest starting bid will be $1, possibly even .50, we'll just see what I can pull out of my hat...err closet. www.facebook.com/navilluscreations