Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Paranoid me

So I'm a little freakish...ok maybe a lot freakish. I don't really know why or how this started, and maybe it's always been this way. I mean I did cry every first day of school until 2nd grade, so yea it's probably just a life long thing. Anyhow let's list the ways I'm a little...abnormal...1) I hate going anywhere I won't know someone. This includes job interviews, craft fairs, classes, kids school(getting better about this), sometimes doctors offices, baby showers, weddings(the last two I usually only know the host and that freaks me out, who am I gonna talk to?!), and probably many other places. 2)I HATE calling businesses, customer support I'm usually ok, calling a lawyer, setting up services like electricity, or asking about a bill, sometimes calling the doctor for an appointment if I don't really know if it's necessary, things like that. I sometimes make josh call kids in sick to school because I get nervous to do it myself, like I'll get in trouble...it's weird I know! 3) I fear letting my kids play outside alone. Deathly afraid of it. The oldest is almost 7, I played outside by myself at that age, crossed the street, etc...not my kids. If I can't see them out the window I go on a hunt. Who know what will happen?! 4) I fear people in general, anywhere from the maintenance guy to the parks and rec people. If I'm alone with the kids and I'm afraid someone will attack me leave my kids stranded and alone. Better yet, I'm afraid they'll take my kid while my back is turned and I won't be able to catch them. my doors are always locked, which actually didn't start till Josh started saying something about it. Now I'm afraid someone will walk in while I'm in the bathroom or something. I'm crazy..maybe...I don't know, I don't watch the news because it's always bad, not do I read the paper. And the only articles I do read are when people post them on fb usually those are horror stories of some sort too. I only really watch sci-fy or doctor shows so I know it doesnt stem from that. I don't know, paranoid, delusional, it's something weird. Josh laughs at me which doesnt help. But honestly, if this world wasnt so f*d up maybe some of my fears would be non existent. The phone call thing...I don't know how to get over that. I'll probably just stay crazy :). Am I the only weirdo out there? Oh here's some cute pics from the park yesterday in which I thought the parks and rec guy might decide to suffocate us with the trash bags he was using to change the trash cans...yea I'm paranoid!

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